Sunday, February 10, 2008

Not Unhappy

How I love you.
Though the craftsmanship is deplorable, the pen turned out well in pictures, I must say. The artist I was trying to capture was Choi, Byung Hoon. He designs elegant furniture that I fell in love with when I was doing research for this project.
The pen is actually plastic, which I free-formed after heating it up under a vaccuum-former lamp. It was super-neat-o to play with the material! I've never done something so fun in shop before. The clear thingies you see are all of the mess-ups I made before I chose my final shape and spraypainted/glossed it. My dad's camera actually did a good job with this! I was super-pleased with how it turned out.
This weekend was beautiful (if not..lacking in rest). I attended the Bravery concert with some friends of mine; one of them had actually lived in the ATL for some time, so she knew the ways around, which was awesome. We got to go to this kinda artsy restaurant, called The Flying Biscuit. It was beautiful inside; the Artist Guild of Atlanta had done the wall murals in there, and the room we were in was covered in Sunflowers (so gorgeous).

After the food, we went to the concert, which had 2 awesome opening bands from Britain that I am totally in love with now (the Switches, and Your Vegas). I want both of their CD's SO BADLY (Your Vegas is coming out with an albun in April, I think...). It was in the Roxy theatre, a really homey kind of venue that wasn't quite as distinctive as the Tabernacle, but still comfortable. The set wasn't as elaborate as the Decemberists'--it was mainly a light show more than anything else. But us three stood on the floor and managed to wiggle our way to the almost-front! I think that was what made this concert stand out--the bands felt so close that you could see all of the sweat coming down their faces. The way they put their heart into what they were doing, and how you could tell that they loved every single second of it.

It was so nice to get out of Auburn. Out of the mundane, sorority/fraternity-littered campus that I have seen for what has felt like way too long. I'm afraid that I'm losing it; I know I'm not even close to being open-minded compared to many, but I feel like Auburn is closing me in, and I can't really see past anything like I used to anymore. I don't feel comfortable and sure of myself like I used to, and after knowing that I'm not directly persuing the career of my dreams, it has opened up a vunerability that makes me feel uncomfortable to really associate with people. How am I to present myself to anyone, which I don't know what substance composes me?

It makes me feel false.

I don't mean to complain; I know that this is the path I have chosen for myself. But now, I just don't know anything anymore. I think that's why I really enjoyed yesterday; it helped me realize that even if I don't have a clear view of myself, I can still be myself, and hold a normal conversation without making some kind of social faux-pas. I could be a dork, and still have people listen to me, and not just dismiss me as a non-thinker, or maleducated in culture/history. I liked, no, loved having what I said matter to someone again, and not feel useless all the time.

I've found that a similar thing is happening to my art. It's dying. I don't draw anymore in class. Everything I draw is the same, old, thing. I can't think outside the perameters of a certain BOX.


Anyway, a friend of mine sent me this video, and it's AWESOME ART.
I don't want this next week to come. Two horrible days all in the same week. Not such a big deal, but I wish I could stay in this weekend forever and be not unhappy. I like this state of being.


Sarah A said...

nice pen, you're right when it's small you can't see the craftsmanship faults. it looks good, did you cut the wood part yourself? that's amazing. you need to explain this plastics thing to me, we don't use it here (we do vacuum seals yes, but we don't mold/play with it). and sorry to bug my dear, but it's Britain. there's an "i".

also, do i make you feel so miserable? do you really think nothing you say matters to me?

Sarah A said...

oh, also because it has been annoying me, maleducated is not a word.

sujen said...

XD In the big pictures the pen was pretty cool too! The wood was actually this bamboo thing I got from hobby-lobby...LOL. I cheated.

You're not here enough to make me feel miserable even if you did (and of course, considering we're still bestest friends in my book, I would definitely say NOT)! *sniff* I'm sorry for the unclear ranting--I meant it regarding Auburn, and not to you or Donna...But I don't really talk to you guys much now. Everyone's busy.

And thanks for the multiple spell checks. I'm keeping maleducated for the irony of it all.

happyapathy said...

aww.. i'm glad we got you get to out hehe and it's nice to help a friend to branch out!! thank you for coming with me to the concert i'm glad you really enjoyed it! concerts are great experiences and it shows how well or sometimes bad the musicians are.

it's just that i've been a fan of the bravery for so long since my sophomore year hehe and that first concert during summer 2005 got me hooked to concerts! yeah we need to venture some more!

great job on the pen i'm in love with plastics 0_0

AppleJelly said...

The pen is neato.
you are neato.
we'll drink our souls out and have fun! Spring break is almost chica--I'll bring some spice into the Auburn atmosphere!!

AppleJelly said...

BTW. I think you can do whatever your heart desires to. I think your just afraid to actually branch out and be free..(maybe I am overanalyzing) I feel like your used to being in the mold for someone else.
:D I know you have the inner stregth to! Don't rot, liiive!