That Recycled Dream

Emotional doesn't necessarily qualify as emo, right?
This week was supposed to be a busy week. It was supposed to be a fine week.
What I didn't expect was Jarrod walking up to me and class, and telling me, "Oh, Christine, I took those recommendation papers you gave me, and I recycled them. Hopefully..."
The rest just kind of died off.


Of all of the emotional breakdowns I've had through high school, I have never had one this deafening before. When I look back now, it makes me wonder what made me crack exactly. It was a simple, positive thing. He had recycled trash papers, basically.

But I couldn't stop the chain of events that occurred from then on. I stepped out of the classroom twice, and each time, I stopped the flow of emotions. I think...It might be mental conditioning, but it's become so easy. I know it's my choice. That stops it all. But when a classmate asked me what was wrong, everything just broke.


I wanted so hard to stop it, because rationally, my brain knew this was the stupidest thing anybody could do. Why the hell would you cry over something that didn't even matter anymore? I ended up disrupting most of the class (luckily, Chris was just doing his usual personal consultation on each individual's project, so it wasn't a lecture or anything...everyone was kind of roaming). Chris offered to let me go to his office, but two of my friends (most awesome girls ever, really) took me out of the room and out to a coffee shop instead. What exactly was said, I can barely remember. Wordbarf just came out of my mouth, and it kept coming.


Why the hell is everything I type EMO? I'm stopping. I'm sorry you hear the same shit over and over again. I'm not going to delete this though. I want to remember this. I need to remember this point in my life.

More relevant information...I'm working on a model for Anthro class--we have to design our own workspace. I got to use the laser-cutter on these, and so that's why they look so nice! Then I stole pictures from deviantart to decorate my "walls", and googled images to paste on (e.g. the computer screen and tablet, etc). I think my favorite part was "upholstering" the chair with felt. Yummy. Shockingly, this took me all freakin' day. ;0; Now, I must go do my PowerPoint presentation. Another sleepless night in Auburn. LOL.

GLOW

Ah, so we had some lanterns to make for class. These had to be collapsible, and fit and a 9"x12" envelope. We actually had to mail them to our teacher today. Sadly, my first attempts burned down because I was careless and left them burning without attending to them--LOL. Leave it up to Christine, right? But I'm pretty satisfied with my second attempt. I chose to present the 3rd one due to craftsmanship and design issues, but I think that my personal favorite was the first one. There was a story on each side of the lantern; and it was a cute one to just make.

There's not much to say about life at this point. Projects pile up, and there's work to do. I hang out with friends once in a while and family often. My sister's birthday was this previous Friday, and I made her watch Garden State and The History Boys. In watching these again, I found some profound things that I had forgotten, or had not connected to previously. Watching those movies made me feel awake for just a little bit; like there was something I could really feel connected to. And so, I had to "pass them on", even if it was just some insignificant DVD. When I hang out with Matt, we play Rock Band, which is awesome fun (DONNA! WHEN YOU COME DOWN WE MUST PLAY)...it has expanded my horizons in music significantly. I've grown to love Garbage, and like the Pixies, and slowly admire Metallica even if I couldn't listen to their music repeatedly. I think it's these little things that make life feel like there is some kind of learning, some kind of exchange going on. I'm eternally grateful to Matt for putting up with my different moods, and no matter what, he faces them all with a kind of friendly comedy, but detached indifference that always makes me smile or laugh regardless of the situation.

Haha, I realized that I always sound so dreary on here, but truly, I am not so drab. But I feel secure because I can tell you guys everything I that I can't confide in, whether it be in my life in class or whatnot. If I did try it in word of mouth, I would probably be blubbering some incoherent mess. So, to go with my drabness on here, I have these two old men; doodles from design history. We're watching interviews in the class, really old DVD's that are horrendous in quality. These guys both worked under the prestigious(I personally think overrated to some extent) Raymond Lowey.

I can't believe I'm going to SCAD next week, and that I'm going to be out of Auburn for a week and a half. That's the longest time I've been out of Auburn since...I don't know when. I don't even have a feeling about it right now; all I can see is the work looming ahead of me for this next week and a half. I can't wait until it's all over.

Oh, BTW, our comic "BATTLE OF THE BANDS" (affectionately called BoB) made it into the FINALS for TOKYOPOP's Rising Stars of Manga!!! I'll definitely be posting the link to it when voting begins. PLEASE VOTE when the time comes! BoB FTW!!

Not Unhappy

How I love you.

Though the craftsmanship is deplorable, the pen turned out well in pictures, I must say. The artist I was trying to capture was Choi, Byung Hoon. He designs elegant furniture that I fell in love with when I was doing research for this project.

The pen is actually plastic, which I free-formed after heating it up under a vaccuum-former lamp. It was super-neat-o to play with the material! I've never done something so fun in shop before. The clear thingies you see are all of the mess-ups I made before I chose my final shape and spraypainted/glossed it. My dad's camera actually did a good job with this! I was super-pleased with how it turned out.

This weekend was beautiful (if not..lacking in rest). I attended the Bravery concert with some friends of mine; one of them had actually lived in the ATL for some time, so she knew the ways around, which was awesome. We got to go to this kinda artsy restaurant, called The Flying Biscuit. It was beautiful inside; the Artist Guild of Atlanta had done the wall murals in there, and the room we were in was covered in Sunflowers (so gorgeous).

After the food, we went to the concert, which had 2 awesome opening bands from Britain that I am totally in love with now (the Switches, and Your Vegas). I want both of their CD's SO BADLY (Your Vegas is coming out with an albun in April, I think...). It was in the Roxy theatre, a really homey kind of venue that wasn't quite as distinctive as the Tabernacle, but still comfortable. The set wasn't as elaborate as the Decemberists'--it was mainly a light show more than anything else. But us three stood on the floor and managed to wiggle our way to the almost-front! I think that was what made this concert stand out--the bands felt so close that you could see all of the sweat coming down their faces. The way they put their heart into what they were doing, and how you could tell that they loved every single second of it.

It was so nice to get out of Auburn. Out of the mundane, sorority/fraternity-littered campus that I have seen for what has felt like way too long. I'm afraid that I'm losing it; I know I'm not even close to being open-minded compared to many, but I feel like Auburn is closing me in, and I can't really see past anything like I used to anymore. I don't feel comfortable and sure of myself like I used to, and after knowing that I'm not directly persuing the career of my dreams, it has opened up a vunerability that makes me feel uncomfortable to really associate with people. How am I to present myself to anyone, which I don't know what substance composes me?

It makes me feel false.

I don't mean to complain; I know that this is the path I have chosen for myself. But now, I just don't know anything anymore. I think that's why I really enjoyed yesterday; it helped me realize that even if I don't have a clear view of myself, I can still be myself, and hold a normal conversation without making some kind of social faux-pas. I could be a dork, and still have people listen to me, and not just dismiss me as a non-thinker, or maleducated in culture/history. I liked, no, loved having what I said matter to someone again, and not feel useless all the time.

I've found that a similar thing is happening to my art. It's dying. I don't draw anymore in class. Everything I draw is the same, old, thing. I can't think outside the perameters of a certain BOX.

Sickening.

Anyway, a friend of mine sent me this video, and it's AWESOME ART.
FROZEN GRAND CENTRAL STATION

I don't want this next week to come. Two horrible days all in the same week. Not such a big deal, but I wish I could stay in this weekend forever and be not unhappy. I like this state of being.

Happy Almost New Year's

Man, it's felt like forever since I've been online (which is rather sad considering I've only missed out for two days or so.) This past week was killer; in the past 72 hours, I have gotten a grand total of four hours of sleep. Who to thank? Industrial design, and insomnia after the fact. I stayed up with two other classmates "partying all night" at the Wallace building working on projects due on Friday. We get a break from the foamcore (finally) for this weekend; but we have another project final due on Monday.

I decided today that I needed a GRAND break from Wallace and homework; so I spent the day with my family in Atlanta, shopping for Chinese New Year's coming up. Traffic was absolutely fierce. But it was all worth it for the small spoils I got. (Quick snapshots; excuse the t-square..LOL)
Everyone knows POCKY, right? The familiar and beloved red-and-white, alice brand which is copied by many Korean imitations such as Pepero by Lotte...




Well, we can all count on the chinese to FLAIL at making imitations and making them their own. Welcome to the world of....CHOCKY. I have found it personally hilarious; the giant-sized box of pocky was 15 dollars, whearas the equally giant Chocky was 3.89. There was a small compromise in chocolate quality; but heck, for ten dollars cheaper, it was so worth it. The chocky stick is relatively 2-3 times bigger than it's real cousin pocky (12 inches, just about). Huge.


But what really made me love this day were these Pocky boxes, which I had to get for the simple novelty of it.

Yeah. Feast your eyes. Klimt and Monet are on this beautifully styled Pocky box. What more could a girl ask for? They also had in stock Manet and Van Gogh; also, each box has a side panel that tells about the artist and the work. I wanted to catch them all. XD



The bunny package is actually my sister's which I accidentally stole from her; the Engrish inscription was too cute for me not to love it. It reads: A Rabbit called Dafune Rabbit. HOW RABBIT FEELS? It actually reminded me of Miss Piaf/Emo bunny. T______T I also got some looseleaf Jasmine tea for a friend--yummy stuff.


So now, I'm going to try to battle my insomnia. But before I do, I totally fell in LOVE with this couch by moooi. The design is brilliantly simple, but so gorgeous. When I get rich, I want it. The video shows the fantastic thought put into it. Thier catalogue is also filled with beautiful things that I want in my dream home.



Way too freakin' awesome.

I see foamcore in my sleep...Or lack thereof.

Mmm...I just finished my second foamcore-shape prototype. And I feel like my eyes are about to pop out of my head from staring at 2-D blankness.

I actually took pictures! This is after my first sleepless night--FOAMCORE CITY MANS. AFter that, Chris told us to imagine an object (preferably hand-held) that we could turn our shapes into. I visualized a...
HAIR DRYER (less-sleep night). I know, I'm the most exciting person on earth. But I thought it was pretty cool at like 3 in the morning yesterday night. >,>;; This was the crappy one with the shitty shapes that I made. It was AUSAM. *dies of laughter*
And finally, my finished "model" in the front (crappy one hidden behind it). Remember when I was gloating on the phone that we didn't have to do orthos? Well, yeah. Of course, I opened my fat mouth, and consequently, we had to do them. I'm just magical. I think we might actually have to make the thing that we chose out of foamcore as a look-alike next. Buddah, save me. I swear, this is why they made wallace 2-floors, so we can't jump and kill ourselves; But then of course, sticking a bunch of tired, pissed off students in a room with a bunch of exacto knives doesn't really help either...

Because I can't sleep, I browsed online, and at the urge of many fanfic blogs, read the latest chapter of Naruto (manga) despite missing the last hundred. XD

It. Was. WORTH IT. A PIVITOL MOMENT. NO B.S. THIS TIME KISHIMOTO. I don't know if it's just me, but his drawing has totally fallen into disrepair. It's quite tragic reading and feeling jipped compared to his earlier work (I CHECKED, it wasn't just my idoltry of him, because I still totally worship him). But, regardless, it was still a moment I've been waiting for; I'm just going to follow this particular part and then quit again. Haha.

Other things I did today...I finished the design history poster (a really crappy poster; we have a set format where pictures are all crammed on one side and text on the other; numbered, in a column--FUGLY). I was lucky enough to be in a group with a bunch of cool guys, which meant that I got to research the awesome breech-loading rifle (sarcasm; no offense meant). It was actually pretty sweet to learn about some of the history of guns though; even though I would much rather die by other means.

Augh, this was so rambly. I blame lack of sleeps mans. I'm now going to float away on the Rufus Wainwright boat of dreams and hope that I can get up in time for class.

Yeah, we're screwed.

http://www.eatkitties.com/
Scroll down. And see the beautiful snippit of RSOM entry.
Yeah, I fail at action scenes.
I am trying really hard not to think pessimistically, but hell, I'm really thinking pessimistically right about now. ;0;

Tats and rants

So, I just booked a hotel room. And all of the moneys I made at AUSAM just went down the drain! Hopefully I can get a table too so it'll be worth it. >,>

Anyways, we've been working on tats in class that are supposed to represent who we are, and be something that we wouldn't mind being permanent, something that we wouldn't regret getting; so it has to be really true to who we are, and not what are are in the present. My choice in tats didn't do so well with the permanence area, I think..I'm not so much an iconic artist like most tattoo artists are, and I don't have the controlled style for tattoo art. If anything, my tattoos ended up looking like graffitti. AUGH.

Hmm...most of them seem self-explanitory if not extremely shallow. XD The one I liked in particular was #2, which represented my mental intestines (my thought processes, I guess). Through it all, it still has to come out one way! LOL. Okay, I know I'm juvenile and gross. Give me a break. Ah, the bar codes made my teacher laugh. Because asians are reproducing like bunnies on the other side of the world, I thought that the bar codes represented that well (generic serial numbers, etc.) But instead of a serial number at the bottom, I was "made in U.S.A.". Very hit-man, and not very original.

-EDIT- JANUARY 15th, TUESDAY

OH MY F'ING GOD. THIS IS THE SHIT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_CGuljEHIg
I think this was by far the thing that made me love AUSAM the most.

AUSAM-CON: all of the awesome without the con XD

AUSAM? I think it was a success. The staff was friendly, the VIP room gorgeous and relaxing, the everlasting cooler of ramune and soft drinks, beautiful, and the karaoke session at the end? Let's just say, I definitely felt "the TOUCH." lulz. (ref. to an 80's song..) So, as I mull with my steaming cup of cough tonic trying to sort throughout the profits of the day, I've gotta say it was a good day. So here are some pics I got from it:

This was my favorite cosplay of the day. I am totally obsessed with FFIII right now...so REFIA BABY. She is totally my magus right now and she kicks some major zombie butt.

This is Robyn, who I hung out with basically all morning. She's really cool, and a fellow y-girl, lol. So it was fun spazzing out about Sasuke and all that good stuff:

Annnddd, this is Jer, super writer of comics. SEE ALL OF THOSE COMICS? Yeah, he wrote for ALL of them. DAMN.

And this is Amy! She was the sweetest thing ever, and actually put effort into making cute candy bags with cards attached. YUMMY. Her fancels rock the house too. There was one artist table that I didn't get to photograph. But I got a really awesome art trade! They wre super cool; "June Five" writes music, and Staph draws comics. They had a great sense of humor, and it was great to have done a trade.

I hope AUSAM con is going to be a reoccuring event! It was nice having a con AT HOME and with such friendly people. <3>

Card meh.

Whoopa. I'm actually working for once.

I'm really excited about the projects that we are being assigned so far this semester. One particular one is about tattoos, where we basically develop our own design identity. Chris A. (my teach) encouraged us to go out and explore the "real world" of tattoos. So, spurred by his enthusiasm, I went and interviewed Nathan at the Voodoo Needle. I was a little intimidated at first, but he was really an awesome guy (with cool tats to boot).

With AUSAM coming up, I'm feeling a little bit apprehensive. I don't have any new prints since AWA, and I can't sell any y-stuff, which was the majority of our profit. Not that I'm expecting any profit from this anyway. So I'm really questioning why I'm going. XD I guess I'll see how the homework is on Sat. So, here are the new business cards for this year. I think they look spiffier than last year (mainly the positioninng, I think...And the lack of spoon-to-mouth-stuffing).

Parasitism

Dude, I love doing finished drawings 'cause I can double-post on dA and blogger. What a lazy bum.
I've been doodling like crazy to try to get a new print before AUSAM (auburn's first "convention" which is more like a regular gathering of the anime society but with alot more anime playing in more rooms at foy) but failing like crazy. >,>;; Nothing's really a coherent "peice" like I used to do anymore.
I only have three classes this semester, all of which seem rather daunting because I've never really touched anything of them before.
a) Anthropometry--the teacher is actually a taiwanese lady, who's really sweet. But her class intimidates me because I know she knows my parents, which really puts me in a hard place to perform well in the class. >,>;;
b) History of Design--this class, by the first day, has already bored me shitless. But I hope it'll get better once we dive into the material.
c) 3-D design, which I haven't taken yet, but am excited to have my good buddy Chris Arnold as a teacher for. :D Poor Chris.
Anyway, This is a product of boredom from my lovely Design history class. It even has a charming little story (which has extremely simple language) to go along with it.
Toodles.
----
So once, there was a tree. And it held in its branches, the universe. It sat in this white room, a room without walls, simple blankness. The tree was massive, with branches the size of elephants, so big that even the tinest twig could crush a couple humans by simply falling. But as time passed, the tree began to shrink in size; the once-strong branches shriveling into just a skeleton of what it used to be. And the tree knew, its time was coming; it could no longer bear the weight of this grand thing that leeched away it's life. So, it sent out its seeds, tiny but determined, into the vast space of the orb, searching for a being that could feed the universe and keep it alive.Lo and behold, the seed landed in the heart of a human. But by the time the seed had led the girl out of the orb, the tree had already crumpled; its spirit long gone into the white nihility. Stricken with grief, the seed burrowed itself deep into the woman's heart where it began to sprout. It ate away at the arteries, the soft organic mass that composed her lovely mortal part until it became large enough to bear the burden of the orb. And slowly, the girl and the tree become one; a brutal but necessary parasitism.